I’m sitting here waiting for the pager to go off and all I can think about is a tiny baby that is just weeks from coming into this world. That child–MY child brings me joy, and anxiety and feelings of love unknown to this father-to-be.
I know that I’m going to TRY to be a good father–but the reality still sits that I have to actually BE a good father. I am so very afraid that this life that I’ve chosen is going to lead to me missing out on more and more of my child(ren)’s lives. How do I balance this. I HAVE to make the money to pay the bills… But more importantly I HAVE to be there for this baby.
The thought of getting to finally meet this mini-me is both terrifying and calming–all at once. The world that we live in–the one that we work in–is fast. It is a hard and rugged world where everything is both impossible and dirty and mean. Yet, this little baby is going to be helpless–ever dependent on Mrs. Medic Three and I.
I’m not even sure that I’m terrified at all anymore… In reality, I’m anxious–because more than anything I want to take this baby home, and hold it, love it, raise it, and teach it to be better than me.
Be safe out there–Keep your chin up, your eyes open, and your feet steady.
Godspeed, Friends.
