I have some great partners. I’ve also got some really, really crappy partners. Some of them just know what to do. Others need me to hold their hands while they take a crap. Some just can not figure out what being a partner means.

So……

A partner is:

-A friend who shares a common interest or participates in achieving a common goal

-A member of an intimate relationship

-A member of a partnership

-A business partner

-Partner (business rank), a member of a law firm or accounting firm which is formed as a partnership; sometimes senior employees of the firm may have the title "partner" (e.g., "salaried partner") to indicate a profit sharing status; salaried partners are distinguished from equity partners, who own the business.

-A participant in a partner dance

Things partners should NOT do…

-Throw you under the bus every chance they get

-Use you in a piss poor attempt to further their own careers

-Kiss your ass after doing so

-Ask you for favors after doing so

-expect you to do them favors after doing so

-expect me to NOT give them a reciprocal bus-throwing-under

-Expect me to NOT succeed and leave you bloodied in a ditch off a dirt road in Idaho.

Seriously. When the oldest person at your station is the most immature, idiotic, and pigheaded dumb ass staff member, you know you’re in a ginormous cluster fuck…

Oh, and some things you should not try to tell me that you are "allergic" to:

-Epi. Seriously? You’re adrenal glands are going to have to disagree

-Sugar. Specifically Glucose. You’re fucking kidding me, right?

-Ammonia? You do understand the difference between an allergy and a hypersensitivity? You get that NO ONE likes how breathing in ammonia makes you feel…

-Right?

-PS… since you are allergic to ammonia, sugar, and epi… what would you like me to do about your "allergic reaction" now that you are in anaphylactic shock? Fucking black magic?

-If you are allergic to sugar why are you drinking a humongo gas station Reese’s Capafrapasugarladencino?

The pediatric dose of Benadryl would actually give you MORE Benadryl than the adult dose… based on weight. F-tard(that is me restraining myself.)

How in the HELL did one small company with 8 full time employees end up with a concentration of 3(THREE) people with the same set of nearly impossible allergies? 

You are a walking, crazy talking, plumb fucking nuts train wreck.