Uninspired.

For months I have struggled to keep this blog alive. I have posts inside me. I have posts started. I just can’t muster them out. This is really the way a big chunk of my life is going. I am incredibly happy with my wife and son, but something is amiss.

I am often distracted, barely able to pay attention to the simplest of things. Medically, I am an undiagnosed ball of annoying symptoms–not debilitating but the sum of them is wearing me–and my family–out.  I stugle to be the man I promised my wife I would be, while being a father I respect and a paramedic I would trust.

That is all I want–to be a good husband, father, and paramedic. Just like the subtitle to my blog. That is me. There is little more to me than those three things. Sure, I am a son, a brother, a friend. But the sum of these three things defines the man I am today.  Yet I find myself uninspired. I have an amazing wife, an adorable 1 year old son and a job I love doing and I am just uninspired. When I get home, I kiss my wife, hug my son, and go to bed. I fail miserably at sleeping all day and then repeat the cycle.

I make goals–to work out, eat better, spend wiser, study harder–yet I never follow through with any of them. I set these goals again and again and I always end up where I started. Uninspired.

I have the desire to move past all of this, but I just need the right push? What will that push be?