Why you do not NEED an ambulance:

• You are running around the house trying to gather your cellphone, charger, makeup, purse, keys, underwear, kitchen sink, and other miscellaneous ”essential”.
• You continue to cut me off, tell me I’m wrong, and insist that you must have some sort of cancer(unrelated to the 3 pack a day habit you have).
• Are mad I am not going to carry you to the ambulance after you have been running around the house(up and down stairs, too!).
• Are made that I will not give you morphine for this mysterious leg pain that just started when we got into the ambulance.

Reasons I don’t care:

• I only work one day this week.
• I haven’t listened to anything you’ve said.
• I’m dreaming of a nap.
• You smell something like a mix of cigarette smoke, old cheese, and pot roast.

Sincerly,

m3