Archives for crazy
The Pentagon’s 26 page Brownie and Oatmeal cookie recipe has gotten plenty of press lately…. If you haven’t seen it, please read some of it and understand why the budget is not balanced, the war on terror is failing, and the sky is now falling.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this crap it says this…
3.3.2 Brownie preparation. (NOTE: The contractor is not required to follow the exact procedure shown below provided that the brownies conform to all finished product requirements in 3.4.)
If that is the case… wtf is is this entire thing about?
Also, any Military document that says “fluffy” is a giant waste of my time…
a. Whip eggs in large bowl on high speed until light and fluffy.
Now quit wasting my tax dollars and get back to work…
Woman charged in breast milk assault on jailer
OWENSBORO, Ky. — A woman in jail for public intoxication was accused of assaulting a jailer by squirting breast milk at her. WYMT-TV reported that a 31-year-old woman was arrested Thursday on a misdemeanor charge of public intoxication. But as she was changing into an inmate uniform, she squirted breast milk into the face of a female deputy who was with her.
The woman now faces a felony charge of third degree assault on a police officer. Her bond was set at $10,000
wha… tha…. fa….
Sadly this sounds like more than one of my patients this last week.
Since one of my least favorite bloggers moderates her comments, and mine will never make it public. I have decided to go here. If you need a clue, let me know.
Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.
Does it make you feel better to make shit up or do you have a serious psychological issue?
I am honestly concerned about your health. You have this constant need to feel important. Like YOU matter. YOU do not. None of US do. As a tech in a hospital you do things that are essential to the hospital. But nothing that any other competent tech couldn’t. YOU did not save anyone. YOU are NOT important.
You think you have some magical powers, great looks, awesome personality, and clever wit. Guess what. You don’t. You would only impress someone who has no medical knowledge at all. Even then, they’d have to be a dumb ass to believe you.
Go to bed, get up, and get a damn life. Sweet Mary, Mother of God. I seriously can’t handle all of this crap anymore. You get your rocks off making yourself feel important to the blogosphere.
Take your @paramedicdan-esque ways and pack them up. The only people who pretend to believe you are more fascinated with your whorish ways than anything else.
Quit making EMS look like a joke. We take our jobs damn seriously and we are sick of people making a mockery of it.
I don’t appreciate when people can’t admit they are wrong. Especially medical professionals. So here is a conversation I had on twitter today(me in RED):
At the allergist.Allergist found nada. Ugh.
@medicTHREE What are your symptoms? Sometimes allergies cant be picked up by allergists (IE: Celiac)
@EMTDani pretty much celiac or lactose intolerance. Doing full celiac panel.
@medicTHREE just do an at home test. Go 7 days without wheat. If u still feel crummy do a week without corn, lactose or egg
@EMTDani gluten stays in your system upwards for 40 days It isn’t just wheat either Take a look at what really has gluten in it (sans wheat)
@EMTDani I have been tested for common food allergies. All negative. They say 90 days gluten free before relief of sx.
@medicTHREE I have celiac with corn and wheat. Dad is severly wheat intolerant also
@EMTDani celiac is gluten intolerance. Wheat and corn are allergies. You could be allergic to wheat and still eat gluten
@medicTHREE celaic has 4 categories to it. Gluten. Lactose. Egg and corn.
@EMTDani Not trying to be a jerk… but that is incorrect. “The cause of Celiac Disease, also known as gluten sensitive enteropathy (GSE)”
@EMTDani https://celiac.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=5&Itemid=11
@EMTDani Again, Gluten is not the same as wheat, and wheat, corn, and egg are allergies. Technically you can overcome many food allergies
At this point @EMTDani stops responding DIRECTLY to me and just tweets publicly….
I love how people argue with me on shit I’ve lived with for nearly 10 years. I think I know what I live with guys.
So I responded….
@EMTDani No need to get all cranky about reality.
@EMTDani Celiac A disorder resulting from an immune reaction to gluten, a protein found in wheat and related grains, and present in many foo
@EMTDani http://www.celiac.com/articles/39/1/The-Standard-Definition-of-Celiac-Disease/Page1.html
@EMTDani http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/celiac-disease/DS00319
@EMTDani I tried to be polite. Simply Put. Use google.
@EMTDani http://dictionary.webmd.com/terms/celiac-disease
@EMTDani http://www.cancer.gov/dictionary/?CdrID=377726
@EMTDani http://www.merriam-webster.com/netdict/celiac%20disease
@EMTDanihttp://www.fda.gov/Food/LabelingNutri
She responded with….
Some people are pricks. Hello block button.
Do people really take pleasure out of turning into a troll? Really?
So here’s the thing……. Never was I refuted. Why? Because you can’t refute this. I might be a prick. But I’m a prick who is right.
First ride shift.
8 calls. 2 by ambulance.
1 seizure, 1 “chest pain” (fibromyalgia… fool me once, shame on me…), 3 traumatic injuries, 1 heat stroke, 1 sob, 1 medical problem.
The Fibromyalgia faker had us going… just before we got to the hospital(after the morphine got her feeling really good) she comes out with “ooooh… my fibromyalgia is getting me too!”. DO they think that that we(any healthcare worker) gets a big soft spot when they tell us they have fibromyassyoureafaker?
Fibromyalgia is NOT a real disease. Take some zoloft/ativan/zannies and STFU.
3 hours to go still! So wierd to actually be on real calls, and more than one a day! I love it!
Dave Statter has provided the youtube link to this video…
If you have been hiding under a rock up to this point, head over to STATter911 for a full update on this.
I only have one question. Why did the medic exit the ambulance right away when the dumb ass Oklahoma Highway Patrolman pulled up behind them?
Further, vengeance is a piss poor tool for LEO’s to use when deciding who to pull over. How many times does a cop have somone “fail to yield”? Does he freak out and pull every one over? How often do motorists Fail to yield to ambulances? I think we should be authorized to do the PIT manuver on vehicles that take longer than 3 seconds to yield.
An ego can be a dangerous thing.
Sources:
STATter911
Rogue Medic
I have some great partners. I’ve also got some really, really crappy partners. Some of them just know what to do. Others need me to hold their hands while they take a crap. Some just can not figure out what being a partner means.
So……
A partner is:
-A friend who shares a common interest or participates in achieving a common goal
-A member of an intimate relationship
-A member of a partnership
-A business partner
-Partner (business rank), a member of a law firm or accounting firm which is formed as a partnership; sometimes senior employees of the firm may have the title "partner" (e.g., "salaried partner") to indicate a profit sharing status; salaried partners are distinguished from equity partners, who own the business.
-A participant in a partner dance
Things partners should NOT do…
-Throw you under the bus every chance they get
-Use you in a piss poor attempt to further their own careers
-Kiss your ass after doing so
-Ask you for favors after doing so
-expect you to do them favors after doing so
-expect me to NOT give them a reciprocal bus-throwing-under
-Expect me to NOT succeed and leave you bloodied in a ditch off a dirt road in Idaho.
Seriously. When the oldest person at your station is the most immature, idiotic, and pigheaded dumb ass staff member, you know you’re in a ginormous cluster fuck…
Oh, and some things you should not try to tell me that you are "allergic" to:
-Epi. Seriously? You’re adrenal glands are going to have to disagree
-Sugar. Specifically Glucose. You’re fucking kidding me, right?
-Ammonia? You do understand the difference between an allergy and a hypersensitivity? You get that NO ONE likes how breathing in ammonia makes you feel…
-Right?
-PS… since you are allergic to ammonia, sugar, and epi… what would you like me to do about your "allergic reaction" now that you are in anaphylactic shock? Fucking black magic?
-If you are allergic to sugar why are you drinking a humongo gas station Reese’s Capafrapasugarladencino?
The pediatric dose of Benadryl would actually give you MORE Benadryl than the adult dose… based on weight. F-tard(that is me restraining myself.)
How in the HELL did one small company with 8 full time employees end up with a concentration of 3(THREE) people with the same set of nearly impossible allergies?
You are a walking, crazy talking, plumb fucking nuts train wreck.
My mother in law is soooo afraid of us picking a horrible name for our baby…
At least I’m not this father douche bag.
Here is a preview of what you get by clicking the above link…
The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child’s full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance. Heath Campbell and his wife, Deborah, are upset not only with the decision made by the Greenwich ShopRite, but with an outpouring of angry Internet postings in response to a local newspaper article over the weekend on their flare-up over frosting.
"I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they’ve been in and start focusing on the future and not on the past," Heath Campbell said Tuesday in an interview conducted in Easton, on the other side of the Delaware River from where the family lives in Hunterdon County, N.J.
"There’s a new president and he says it’s time for a change; well, then it’s time for a change," the 35-year-old continued. "They need to accept a name. A name’s a name. The kid isn’t going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did."
No, but he isn’t going to win many awards for having the most peaceful name in history either…
The Campbells’ other two children also have unusual names: JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell turns 2 in a few months and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell will be 1 in April.
Do you ever just think to yourself…. "WHAT THE F#@K?!!"
TLC has about 1234213 reality shows. Some of them more sane than others…. 17 Kids and Counting is NOT one of them. The Duggar Family–or should I say the Duggar Parents–have successfully created the best army of drones I have ever encountered(and we live near more than one Hutterite Colony).
Keep happening to me. Today, after our short transfer to the big deal hospital, I had placed one of the “complimentary” sodas(the half can size–cheap bastards) on the rear bumper. I was cleaning off the cot and finished tidying up the rig.
RIP Dave Freeman. Dave Freeman, Author of “100 Things to Do Before You Die” passed away Aug 17th after a fall at his home. He was 47. Scott Adams(Of Dilbert fame) let me know about it. See Scott seems fascinated by celebrities who are struck by some sort of disease/untimely death:
As most of you know, I draw a comic featuring a guy who inexplicably has no mouth, who lives with a cartoon dog that inexplicably has no mouth. And I end up with Spasmodic Dysphonia, a condition that prevents me from speaking.
Today in the news, the author of the book “100 Things to Do Before You Die” died at the age of 47 after hitting his head at home. That probably wasn’t on the list
I guess there is some irony there, and in the rest of his post.
It always makes you wonder about the things we see doctors doing… usually right after treating a patient who was doing something similar… Ie riding a motorcycle without a helmet, or speeding on the freeway, or running a red light. How many of us in health care end up dying from something we treated–and thought was stupid?
Anyways… hope ya like the new Theme. Not sure who I feel about it yet.
EE over turned me on to Paracynic. I love his site. He has the sense of humor that is under appreciated in EMS. And hey… every department needs a paper pusher to keep things blocked up and slow! Check out his site… I know I’ll be all over it…
Paracynic posted about this great site in one of his recent posts… Wow is it creepy. My neighborhood apparently has a plentiful amount of kidnappers and attempted murderers.
Medic Matt referenced my favorite disease… Fibromylagia.
Get over it people. I realized the easter bunny hates me and you need to take a tylenol, drink some water, and get some sleep. Then, when that’s all done, go to WORK and quit calling the ambulance when you have a car and 4 people in your house who can drive. I will NOT give you morphine.
If you want some fun reads… Check this crap out.
