I didn’t get a post up this year, so here is this:

And my post from last year: Remember The Fallen

When I should have been sleeping Thursday night, I was watching “I am Sam” on TBS. I actually tried to walk away from it a few times, but I guess I’m a sap for that kind of thing. Well, not really, but whatever. This post IS a little bit rambling and a lot scattered. Mostly because I’m a LOT emotional about it. I’m sick of watching “EMS Professionals” treat patients with complete disregard for the most basic of human needs.

It got me thinking about the countless parenting lessons the Main Character “Sam” offers us. As a mentally handicapped dad with an IQ around 70, the struggles WE all face on a daily basis are compounded–yet somehow he does it better than most parents could imagine. So… Because it is what I do, I TWEETED it. Next @EMS2Foundation asked me a simple question, that made my mind spin out of control.

do you think there’s any good lessons from “I am Sam” for EMS personnel?

Obviously I am Sam is full of Life lessons in general, but I think that the overwhelming theme is about compassion and understanding. I’m not sure what it was about this question that really got me going, but it did. I actually got frustrated trying to write this post–not because I can’t find the words or ideas, but because the basic concept–one we ignore all too often–is so easy. It is almost easier to follow this concept than what most of us do, but yet we still continue on.

What is this concept? Treat our patients with Respect, Integrity, and Compassion. The EMS Blogosphere is abuzz with EMS 2.0 discussion. Seems as though every one of my fellow bloggers has written an EMS 2.0 post–so I guess I HAD to follow.

For those of you who are living under a rock in West Texas, EMS 2.0 is:

EMS 2.0 is the global effort to reform prehospital emergency care. We are an open community that includes members of the general public, medical professionals, and policy makers. All of us are committed to reforming prehospital emergency care world wide.

Personally, I think it should start on a much more basic level.

Respect. Integrity. Compassion.

Respect.
It seems to me that medics have this God Superiority Complex that justifies the way they treat others–Our patients are scumbags, bums, drunks, and thugs. Our patients DESERVE what they got. Our patients don’t deserve good care. Our patients don’t deserve critical thinking. Why should I respect someone who doesn’t respect me?

Sure, we see a lot of bad eggs. Part of why we see them is the nature of BEING a Bad Egg. Bad Eggs do stupid shit. Bad Eggs make bad decisions. But…. Bad Eggs are still people. Do we expect the bad eggs to magically un-rot if we treat them like crap? Right…. Don’t get me wrong–I am not suggesting you coddle drunks and seekers. I AM suggesting that you don’t disrespect them. I AM asking that you don’t maliciously maltreat them. I AM asking that you give your patients a chance–now when they take that chance and piss it away by swinging at you, that is a new discussion.

I think that if we treat patients with respect, the image of EMS will only get better. Often we have this public persona that we are lazy, dirty drunks–much like the patients we hate–yet we don’t do anything to improve this image. It is OUR responsibility to ACT professional, and Respecting our patients is the foundation of that.

In the Movie, Sam doesn’t shove anyone down. As a matter of fact, it is striking how much he tries to NOT disrespect anyone. Our patients deserve to have a care provider with this dedication–yet often they end up with far less.

Integrity.

adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

I think the easiest way for EMS professionals to honor the integrity of our patients and act with integrity ourselves is to Follow the EMT Oath. What you say? We have an Oath? Yup, and while we might not put our hands on a bible or be sworn in like some public servants, we are still obligated to uphold this Oath.

Be it pledged as an Emergency Medical Technician, I will honor the physical and judicial laws of God and man. I will follow that regimen which, according to my ability and judgment, I consider for the benefit of patients and abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous, nor shall I suggest any such counsel.

Into whatever homes I enter, I will go into them for the benefit of only the sick and injured, never revealing what I see or hear in the lives of men unless required by law.

I shall also share my medical knowledge with those who may benefit from what I have learned. I will serve unselfishly and continuously in order to help make a better world for all mankind.

While I continue to keep this oath unviolated, may it be granted to me to enjoy life, and the practice of the art, respected by all men, in all times. Should I trespass or violate this oath, may the reverse be my lot.

So help me God.

A big part of Integrity is Pride in one self, pride in your profession, and pride in what you do. If you are missing one of these parts, maybe this profession isn’t for you. Maybe someone a little more disconnected is your cup of tea. These aren’t optional parts of doing our jobs the RIGHT way. If we can’t act with honor, why bother?

Compassion.
Likely the most underused tool in our “kits”. To do this job for a long time you almost have to disconnect from your patients. The things we see and do are hard on the strongest of hearts, let alone one who allows them to eat you up. What that doesn’t mean is that we should disregard the significance of the moment for our patients. Our patients are in pain, dying, sick, or injured and it is our job to assess, treat, and transport them to the next level of definitive care.

Assess, TREAT, and transport. Treating our patients doesn’t have to involve and IV, medications or the LifePak 12. It could simply mean providing a compassionate ear to calm them down. More often than not, my patients don’t need any “medical” care, yet few people outside of medicine are prepared to offer them what they need. They need someone who has “seen it all” and able to reassure them, comfort them, and be honest with them.

BE HONEST. Compassion doesn’t mean making false promises. You should all know better than to go all TRAUMA on me and yell at your patients for dying or promising they’re gonna live. If they’re gonna die, you don’t have to say “Look, you’re dying”, but you NEED to make them aware(obviously if lucid) of the severity of the event. You MUST be compassionate and part of that is being honest. Tell them what they NEED to know. Tell them in a way you’d expect me to tell your mother.

Sure, EMS 2.0 is about a lot more than all of this “simple” crap, but what point is there in wasting the effort to improve the rest of EMS if we aren’t doing the bare minimum for our patients. The smartest, best groomed medics can still disregard the simple basics of patient care.

In the end of the day, if you aren’t treating your patients the way you’d expect me to treat your 85 year old mother, step back and ask yourself WHY? Then fix it.

If you haven’t seen I am Sam, you should. Sure, it’s sappy and silly, but honestly there is little excuse for us to not all live with the same Love and Care for others that Sam does for his daughter Lilly. Either we decide to do our jobs with Honor, Respect, Integrity and Compassion, or we’ve decided to insult our patients AND our colleagues. What point is there in improving the rest of EMS if we can’t address the most important part?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBfcBVt6Etk

My wife is my queen. Without her I assure you that I would be completely lost. This song has a way of describing just how we work. It just all of the sudden clicked with us. We had an on again/off again relationship that lasted several months. Shortly there after I moved 1826 miles to Florida… For many reasons… But mostly because I was afraid of who I was becoming.

So I ran. I ran fast. I left my dog, my friends, my family, and I ran. I spent 11 months in that dreadful state(good god… humidity is supposed to end at some point). It was really my only option.

Butit worked. I grew up. I learned how to work hard–and I learned that what I was doing wasn’t for me. I learned there is more to life than what I want… but what I NEED. Then one night I found what I was looking for…. one thousand, eight hundred and twenty-six miles away from where I was. So I packed up my little red VW bug and moved my completely heterosexual ass back home. I tried to play tough. I tried to deny how I felt. But I couldn’t.

So I moved in with her. I married her. And we had a beautiful baby boy. She is my rock. My soul mate.

She is my wife. Whatever it is that brought me back, I’m not 100% sure. But SHE brought me back. Nothing else could ever have the power over me that she does.

On December 7th, 2008 I took a job with a little ambulance service in my hometown. The town where I grew up–where my parents still live. My wife and I moved back home this spring.

The Little Ambulance that Couldn’t has one hell of a reputation. When I was hired on I thought most of it was BS. I was HOPING it was all BS. They said the owner was crazy. They said he was unprofessional, unqualified, unstable…. They said the medics were out of practice, that they were just stretcher jockies.

I tried. I really, honestly tried to make the best of it. I needed an out, and this was it. I took what I had and ran with it… But the breaking point was always on the horizon.

Every time someone went wrong at the Little Ambulance that Couldn’t it was always the end of the world. Out of soap… the sky is falling. Missed an IV… the apocalypse is near! Had a patient get pissed…. OMG… The dinosaurs are coming!!!

The LCTCn’t was more concerned with LOOKING like a real ambulance service than BEING a real ambulance service. We spent more time sweeping, washing trucks, and mopping floors than we did running calls. Since January 1st I was ON 46 calls. I was lead on 26. On 12 of those calls there were 3 or more staff members on the call(any time we had an “exciting” call, every damn staff member in town showed up cause they thought we NEEDED the help. I’m sorry, but I don’t need 27 people vying for control of MY call.).

The owner at the LCTCn’t had a hair trigger. Any time something tiny happened he went off half cocked. When business was bad he wouldn’t hesitate to let us all know how we were all replaceable and he was willing to work 24/7(I raise you this and challenge you to actually do this now!).

I am a paramedic. I want to run calls, restock my truck, and run some more. I’ll wash my rig when it is dirty. I’ll mop a floor when it NEEDS it. I won’t do busy work for the sake of doing busy work. I’ll also take a nap when time permits.

When you treat me like I am disposable, I will do everything my power to prove you otherwise. Step one, walk out. Step two, fight back. Step three…. Win.

Do not try to intimidate me with reminder mailings of my confidentiality agreement. My complaint with the department of labor is well within my rights. You have failed to realize everything I did for you during the last 7 months. I wrote your protocols, designed your website(which you are now unable to update without me), implemented your EPCR program(which you are clueless on) and set up and maintained your internal network. You have no one who can do these tasks. Enjoy finding a medic/maid/IT guy to replace me.

When you are working back to back to back 24 hr shifts with your medics who can’t even spell succinocholine let alone provide you dosages. Enjoy your CPAP device I researched that you aren’t even sure when to use. Enjoy back to back 8 hour transfers. Enjoy continuous turnover because you aren’t willing to take the tools we gave you to succeed.

You’ve proven all you care about is LOOKING like a real ambulance service. When you’re ready to BE a real ambulance service… don’t call me. I have moved on. Gone. Done. Finished.

Good Bye.

Life has been very busy/stressful/challenging lately. I have been having a hell of a time with my current job and have been looking for my way out. My boss doesn’t seem to think that 2×24 hr shifts + 3×24 hr call shifts is “working us too much”. Funny how 3 months ago he stopped working real shifts altogether since it was destroying his family life.

My family is supposed to magically survive though.

Don’t think so dude. No job will ever be worth sacrificing my family. My wife, son, and even my dogs are more important than a paycheck could ever be. The stress this job has put on my family for the last 3 months is incredible.

I’m realistic. I know that having a 4 month old son is hard. I know that the stresses a new baby can put on a relationship are rather intense. But they are nothing compared to what this job does.

I hope to have magical results for you all in 48 hours.

Godspeed, friends.

“If shit doesn’t change around here he is going to lose all of his best medics”

me. “Yup. I hear ya”

Inside my head…. “it is already too late”

For 7 months I have tried to reverse what I consider to be my biggest failure of my life. I work hard. I try to improve things. When that doesn’t work, I give up. I know… I’m a type A personality. I’m a leader. A fighter. I strong person. But I can’t fight this fight anymore.

Every day, I wake up—if I even slept that night, and spend an hour dreading work. If I’m on call I fear any chance I have to go in. When I’m ON I get sick. I dread the conversations with coworkers, the tedious tasks, and the shit morale.

I feel as though I’ve failed. I moved my family and implanted us here with no other options… Well… One other option. My initial first choice. The problem is… the THOUGHT of going there could get me fired here. No… It WOULD get me fired.

I’m damn scared. I do NOT want to let my family down. I want need to succeed. I need to prove myself to my family. I need to prove myself to… me. All I want is to be a Paramedic. All I want is to succeed. Yet every move I make ends in failure. My first job was a failure. This is an EPIC failure.

What would you do? I’m signed into a lease for at least a year. Further, I love being here. We are in my hometown, a mile from my parents, an hour from my in-laws, and I feel spoiled. My son certainly is. I know my parents love having a grandchild close. What do I do?

Wish me luck.

I have some great partners. I’ve also got some really, really crappy partners. Some of them just know what to do. Others need me to hold their hands while they take a crap. Some just can not figure out what being a partner means.

So……

A partner is:

-A friend who shares a common interest or participates in achieving a common goal

-A member of an intimate relationship

-A member of a partnership

-A business partner

-Partner (business rank), a member of a law firm or accounting firm which is formed as a partnership; sometimes senior employees of the firm may have the title "partner" (e.g., "salaried partner") to indicate a profit sharing status; salaried partners are distinguished from equity partners, who own the business.

-A participant in a partner dance

Things partners should NOT do…

-Throw you under the bus every chance they get

-Use you in a piss poor attempt to further their own careers

-Kiss your ass after doing so

-Ask you for favors after doing so

-expect you to do them favors after doing so

-expect me to NOT give them a reciprocal bus-throwing-under

-Expect me to NOT succeed and leave you bloodied in a ditch off a dirt road in Idaho.

Seriously. When the oldest person at your station is the most immature, idiotic, and pigheaded dumb ass staff member, you know you’re in a ginormous cluster fuck…

Oh, and some things you should not try to tell me that you are "allergic" to:

-Epi. Seriously? You’re adrenal glands are going to have to disagree

-Sugar. Specifically Glucose. You’re fucking kidding me, right?

-Ammonia? You do understand the difference between an allergy and a hypersensitivity? You get that NO ONE likes how breathing in ammonia makes you feel…

-Right?

-PS… since you are allergic to ammonia, sugar, and epi… what would you like me to do about your "allergic reaction" now that you are in anaphylactic shock? Fucking black magic?

-If you are allergic to sugar why are you drinking a humongo gas station Reese’s Capafrapasugarladencino?

The pediatric dose of Benadryl would actually give you MORE Benadryl than the adult dose… based on weight. F-tard(that is me restraining myself.)

How in the HELL did one small company with 8 full time employees end up with a concentration of 3(THREE) people with the same set of nearly impossible allergies? 

You are a walking, crazy talking, plumb fucking nuts train wreck.

So, It has been rather apparent that I can’t make my mind up. At all.

In the past 6 months I have:

• Abandoned MedicThree.com
• Started and abandoned glutenfreedad.com(no longer hosted)
• Started and flopped on courtesyshock.com(still up)
• Started, but done nothing with medicdad.com
• And now I am back with medicthree.com. Format might be a little different, as you can see, but back I am. I have new motivation for some posts, and my fears of exposure are all but gone. A few people
  here know me in real life. One of them is one of my supervisors–but, if I can’t trust her… I’m in a world of hurt anyways!

Anyways… I assure you that by the end of the night there will be an ACTUAL POST HERE…

So… Let me know how things are going! What do you think?!?!?

The National EMS Memorial Service is a sad-that-its-necessary, but glad-someone-stepped-up organization. Something I hadn’t realized was that one of my childhood neighbors is on that list.

Hit closer to home than I would’ve liked. I was only 14 years old when they died. He had a son a year older than me and a daughter two years younger than I. It is amazing that someone I honestly only met once or twice has made me feel the way I do right now.

Maybe its a case of whoa-is-me, maybe its a case of –I’m-having-a-baby-and-I’m-terrified-of-fucking-up. I’m not sure…

May God have Mercy on your Souls.

May God have Mercy.

Be safe out there, friends. Godspeed.